Archive for December, 2007

I just read an interesting post from the moderator of a writer’s group I subscribe to. She is a well-published author and offers us in the group tips on how to write, succeed in writing, etc. Today she talked about plot and character issues that she could not seem to resolve in the narrative despite many attempts — and a looming deadline. And so….at the eleventh hour — she got the flu. For two weeks! Finally resolved that she simply could not write with a spiking temperature and surrendered to the illness. After a week or so she is up and around again, and, this morning in the shower, the writer’s problems resolved themselves mid-shampoo! Her mind, so caught up in the “gotta get it done” mode, just locked up. But her body, shut down; two weeks of bodily inactivity while your subconscious works on can yield great results . . . and resolutions to problems.

As I read her posting, I felt such a sense of kinship with this situation: many times I’ve had “problems” that I couldn’t find an answer to, situations I couldn’t figure out how to handle, relationships I didn’t know how to mend. AA has a saying (well, they have one for just about any situation, but the one I’m thinking of now is): “Let go and let God.” And, for me, letting go (of control) is hard; for me, letting go is about not doing it myself, not succeeding, maybe even failing. Silly when I write about it now, but in the midst of a crisis or a challenge, I am the in-charge girl, and I want to do it “right” (translated into “my way.”). Letting go means I can’t handle it, can’t solve it, can’t resolve it.

And, of course, I can’t. I can’t control anyone but myself — and that poorly. I can’t make other people do what I want, and I can’t make them change or “act right.” I can only control my own impulses and responses, and I can only do that when I realize I have no control at all . . .

So — is “letting go” really being in control? Uh-oh, getting too circular for me! Letting this go for now….


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The Secret’s Out!

Sunday, we told Faye (Ronnie’s mom) about the New Mexico job. I had wanted to wait till I get an interview, because till then, it’s all fantasy-land anyway. But Ronnie felt we needed to tell her rather than risk people reading my blog and saying something to her at church or in the grocery store. He’s right, of course. Despite my delusion that this blog is “anonymous,” it isn’t and we know we have friends (and family) who read it [Hi, Gladys, Hi, Sharon!]

Faye is, of course, supportive. She got out the atlas to see where Silver City is and we talked for a long time about the job and the town and what it would mean if we left Hattiesburg. We’ll see what happens….

I’ve added a picture of a “bottle tree” that Martha sent me from her aunt. It’s pretty priceless! I’ve got to drink more!

Happy Holidays!

Bottle Christmas Tree

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Had a long morning conversation with the Family Organizer this morning: My sister-in-law Sharon. We, of course, in our wisdom, discussed the family situation, both group and individual, in minute detail and diagnosed both the problems and the cures for each. [big sigh] If only they would listen to us!

The Family Fixer [Jim] is in Philadelphia at the “cabin” (you wouldn’t believe what some people call a cabin!) for a week after delivering Faye [Family Matriarch and all around mom] back to us from a month in California.

CA Thanksgiving 2007

With Thanksgiving behind us, we have to turn to plans for Christmas . . . the CA contingency is staying put this year and so are we — unless we get a call to head to New Mexico for job interviewing purposes. I made the first cut on the NM job; they emailed me to let me know they would be checking references next. If I make the next cut and get an interview, I’ll have to tell the rest of the family . . . until then, this is all on the QT from the clan.

I thought I was pretty safe writing about all this job stuff since this whole internet thing is so anonymous and “feels” very private, sort of like a private journal….but then, this morning, Sharon reminds me that her mom is an avid web-surfer and has been reading the blog! Hi, Gladys! Thank goodness it’s you — you understand why I haven’t said anything yet!

The blogs are just another way to connect…to our family, to readers, to people we don’t even know yet, to issues, to hopes and dreams, to fantasies and fears, our past, our present, our future. Tune in…it’s a scream!

Hope your Christmas planning goes well, and I hope I hear from some of you during this wonderful, very blessed season.

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